Strain Theory - The New Lines - All That We See And Seem (Vinyl, LP)
For single expats in Germany, dating is even harder. Online Dating. In a perfect world, you and your soulmate would bump into each other on the streets of Germany, lock eyes, and fall madly in love the next second.
Dating Profile. Is online dating easier for single female expats in Germany than for their male counterparts? Dating Tips. Not a soul-devouring demon. It usually feels like an angel and a demon are constantly fighting over my thoughts of whats right and whats wrong to think about.
The demon wins most of the time in my decision making. For me, having ADHD is like everything around you is fighting for your attention. Your mind has to take note of every single little thing before you can go onto the next task. When it does finally pick something wether it be staring at every fiber on a fuzzy carpet or your homework it does so in a intensity to where the fuzzy carpet looks like its vibrating. Your mind is so focused you practically jumped out of your skin when you feel your dog lick your face for attention.
In school and you are taking your mid term its especially hard. You take notice of all the movement around you in the large auditorium each new whisper that echoes around, the slightest movement of the person across the room from you.
You do know that you are not connected, you can easily get agitated with things. I do not feel racing thoughts, probably racing thoughts occur in a mania situation even though the thoughts might be there, you do not see them racing… I can assume if my mind is not a fidget spinner, then probably I am somewhat centered on myself, my body, surroundings, situations, some goal, relaxed in the present moment.
I am here to write this comment after finishing the reading of your article. A always missing your chance being late for that chance or not paying attention when the chance was present. I am nearly crippled from a lifetime of shame. Hey everybody I told her two hours early! Think before you speak…before you act… the whole idea of controlling impulse is an oxymoron. Then one day age 32!
You are diagnosed! Probably not. But now what do you do with it? You have an overnight cure? You get the idea. I suppose the silver lining is my deep empathy and compassion for others. I am I am stuck, hopeless.
Debilitated by a stupid like me invisible diagnosis. Apparently if I tried I could. Shame is all I know. I gots wrap this up. Ooh look, Squir…. Love it. I remind people all the time, how much they love me and their lives would be boring without me.
Just let it roll. Caleb, I have used that analogy all week! A constant battle. Every thought is argued, challenged, and second guessed. I can hardly grocery shop from decision making anxiety. My husband had to come help. I get sensory overload as a side dish. The spinning and spiraling. His cries, his laugh. The anxiety. Also like a fun house, with all the mirrors, and clowns laughing, zooming in and out in your face things coming at you as you try to navigate to attempt to find peace sleep.
I just want to hide. This is a great article! I definitely commiserate with these testimonies, and have struggled with all of it a little — the understeering, the balloons, the low RAM for sure especially with verbal listseven the tab freezing.
It makes for understanding that your brain may be this way and also developing techniques and tools tailored to you. Learning my thoughts were like ants on a picnic blanket helped me not have to pick up each thought, examine it, and lose 10, 20, 30 minutes doing nothing productive. It would be nice to see what comes by way of support for adults struggling with this. Thank you for this. That really helps me create space to get focused work done.
And yet sometimes I will fall into an intense rage where I want to throw things across the room sometimes I do. You never know what numbers will come up when you pull the lever. It could be a day where everything aligns or a day where they all come up different.
I never know when the positive mood will fall out. Before medication it was like someone was holding my shoulders as I stood in the edge of a cliff. Feeling I could fall off the cliff at any moment but not able to think about that feeling and why I was feeling it. Spinning so fast all I felt was my brain matter being pulled like magnets to the outside of this spinning wheel with nothing able to connect in the centre. When it got like that, I would just fall backwards off the cliff and my brain would feel as it does before blacking out.
It would just go numb. Since medication. I can step away from the cliff and walk to safety. I can choose to not let anything hold me there because I can choose!
I can stand safely in the field. And trust it. I do once in a while feel the centrifugal force but when it comes, I am able to use my steady feet to walk to something that will make it stop. I can learn. I can remember. In elementary I would say my relation was more familiar with the different levels of attentions. And I feel like I can boil myself down to extremely simplify my experience to a simple childhood game, which I was never any good at, the card machine game memory.
I had felt like I was sitting in my brain watching my life on auto pilot. I felt like a lifeless robot or a shell of myself. ADHD for me and this proabably has to do with my depersonalizaion but to me it feels like My body is this giant robot im driving that has an A.
I assist. Unfortunatley i cant really operate the robot on my own. I mean i can but its much harder without the A. Like having the power steering cut off in a car. That wouldnt be so bad if that was the only problem. Unfortunatley the A. I is a bit of an ass to work with and sometimes its activley working against you. When the A. It provides useful solutions and you work together so well its effortless you look up and hours have passed and youve done great things.
But that rarely happens. I is not really interested. You wanna study? I assist working in tandem with you. You have to re read things more. But you keep trying to power through it. Unfortnatley without the A. I your sense of time is off it controls that so this study session which has become frustrating is also now taking fooooorrrrever an agonizing amount of time. It feels like minutes have passed but its only been seconds.
And the whole time the A. I is trying to convince you to give up and go do somehting more stimulating… So you do. Its just easier to do what the A. I wants. Like i said when you work together every thing is better and easier. Sorry if this analogy doesnt make sense. The A. I loves thinking about its self so i could write about this for a while lol!
Thanks for this comprehensive look into ADHD! I really like that analogy at the beginning, it really put things into perspective for me of what it is like for my friend. While the adult will walk on the path for 2 miles, the kid will veer off to the left to look at this, to the right to touch that, back to see something they just passed. At the end of the walk they both have traveled the same distance from point A to point Bbut the kid has spent considerably more energy and effort.
I also delegate anything that is beneath me … ok, requires too much sustained concentration, regularity, or is boring.
I find medication helps take me to a tolerable concentration level. To the point people tell me my ideas are out of the world. Or they give me weird looks. My life feels like so many things is happening at once. I can get along with a group of people just fine. ADHD feels like everything is happening all at once and all of a sudden you forget everything because it happens way too fast. I constantly forget things to the point id fight with my parents about the term being responsible.
ADHD is trying to figure out why the fuck did you just turn off the lights when you need them to stay on. Like you forgot you turned them on in the first place.
Idk if I made sense. I need someone to reply. Girl, I know exactly how you feel. I went from starting load of laundry, to making bkfst, to sweeping but not picking up pile, to putting up dishes in washer to try to clean dishes in sink but not get to wash dishes, to put load in dryer to sorting but never putting away clothes, to being EXHAUSTED from cleaning but never finished tasks of cleaning….
Does that make sense? I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 2nd grade and school has always been a struggle. Homework is really hard. You know you should do A but B is just so enticing. You try to start on A but give up because you cannot focus and just do B. That is probably super confusing to whoever is reading this, oh that is also how it is. I think something makes perfect sense but when I say it out loud no one understands.
There are my 2 cents. Thanks, I guess. For me, ADHD is like watching the world through a cloudy window. I cannot pass through the window. I cannot open the window. All the sights, sounds and experiences exist beyond me, in another place, a world I can not enter. There a brief moments of clarity. Gifts from another dimension perhaps…but inside, my thoughts fizzle and pop. While a hurricane forms outside my cloudy window. Stranded in curiosity, unable to define a single concept.
ADHD is a satellite in deep space. ADHD is tasting sound and hearing color. It is an unwritten novel about my mother. It is rage and helplessness and shame. It is every incomplete task and the unrealized dreams that haunt my sleep. It is an algebra test taken while loud jazz music plays in a crowded restaurant.
Reading the above made me feel so not alone! I am a combo of many listed, but mainly the tabs. God-forbid — the tabs…. I went through school never knowing and I was told I survived as an all A student because of my photographic memory.
Yet still, no one fully understands what we go through…. So as if ADD wasnt enough, I am also a middle child. I have an older sister the perfect child and a younger brother being a boy was enough. Most anyone with an older sibling has been the subject of the game 52 Pick Up.
To me its like when you read to yourself in your head but there is already someone reading and they starting reading louder as you read louder and another person starts reading even louder than you and the other one. It is just getting bombarded with information. I was just officially diagnosed today. I started by telling my primary care doctor that I thought I might be ADHD after my son 7 was diagnosed, and I noticed that my symptoms irritability, impulsivity, procrastination, overwhelming emotions, sensory perception, leaving tasks, bored easily, fidgeting, hyperdocus, etc were very similar to his symptoms as explained to me by the specialist that diagnosed him.
And been treated with SSRI medications on and off for years. I can bring calm to a screaming infant and a crying mother, and help them problem solve…. I am 30 years old. I fall out of rolling office chairs at least 3x per week because I perch on the edge of the seat and the chair gets unbalanced. If I miss my morning workout off get off on my eating habits, watch out.
I just might a rip your face off or b try to become your best friend if you see me in passing at the HEB. Life is overwhelming. This is coming from a newbie to the group…. Like, imagine if you were in one of those Chuck E. Cheese ticket blaster things, but all of those tickets are your thoughts, and the big super-awesome best ticket is the most important thought, and it changes several times a minute. No more grabbing. The ones that you grabbed are all you get.
And you have no push pins for the Bulliten Board you need to put the tickets on. You just have to keep pretending. Until you crack. I am 18 and was diagnosed at 14, but could not find a medication for my ADD that was right for me until sophomore year. All of my previous prescriptions made me not eat and not want to socialize with anyone. It can be the most simple sentence you can think of and I still will not be able to process it. I will find myself having a conversation with someone and I will be nodding and agreeing, and by the end of the conversation I will realize I have no idea what I was just talking about.
I have friends and family constantly telling me I said something when I know for a fact that I did not say it, but it happens often enough that I know it is because of my constant dissociation. I will be sitting in a classroom and if I lose my focus, I am losing that focus for the rest of class. The sound of the kids walking in the hallways will enhance so much and even if it is just two kids passing by, it will sound like hundreds. If someone is clicking their pen over and over sitting next to me, that has my complete attention until they are done.
Life hits your prism and every response physical, emotional etc you could conceive is a line of light that hits off of it and is refracted in a hundred different ways. Constant, unforgiving motion. My brain and body at any given time can only agree to keep going fast and hard. I feel like an animal in some kind of derby, a force on my back whipping violently demanding me to go as fast as possible without care of consequence or others.
Driving dangerously, unable to relax with friends and unable to stay at my office desk for more than 30 min at a time. I want to be good and calm and normal. I want to be normal. I want so badly to be normal and to focus and to understand what it means to be still. I have had fleeting moments and a few days where my brain is on track but only about 3 or 4 of them over a period of years. I agree with those who say that anyone who says they understand and does not actually have ADHD cannot comprehend the true hell of it.
The hours lost in trying to sleep, the friends that think you area thoroughly self-invested person. For all the world, I want to be normal. I want to know what I could have accomplished and that I could feel safe with the demands of my brain. I do not feel safe or understood. I appreciate the contributions here.
I spent a few minutes crying after being able to see that there are people who do understand. For me its like when something is taking a minute to load and you start pressing more buttons, and all of a sudden they all register at once and everything freezes up and shuts down. I was diagnosed when I was 20 or 21, but at the time I felt they were wrong and never went back to begin any kind of treatment.
These things affect every aspect of my life. My work, my kids, my relationships with people. Its frustrating to work so hard at being ready to go and arriving somewhere on time. My time management skills are terrible, and me making a guess at how long something will take is either way off or it was close but I lingered on something or got distracted and then am late anyways. And then it happens. I pretty much started telling myself I needed to be somewhere 30 minutes before what I actually did.
I often fell asleep in class daydreaming missing lessons, and social studies was probably one of the worst areas for me very very boring, that was impossible for me to pay attention to. That was the only teacher that realized something was off.
Any attempts to make friends or be social were quickly dismissed due to my perceived rudeness blurting things out came across as rude. It takes a lot of conscious effort to not write novel responses to people in text messages very god example right nowand sometimes I send a good 3 or 4 before I realize what I just did.
Sometimes I will be reading something I love and I could spend hours doing this I call this getting lost in the tabs.
When someone is talking to me, I tell myself to listen, and am trying to zero in on just listening — but at some point my brain wanders off and I miss half of what they just said to me. Not easy for non adhd folks to understand. I hate being treated like a 12 year old whos being asked if her homework is done, but I do forget important things that can really cause some problems for me. It is very out of sight out of mind.
Everyone is different and what works for one person may not for another. Slowly but surely we are finding the things that work for me to help me be successful. It has been hard being mistaken my entire life, wishing we had known this a long time ago.
A lot of things could have been different for me, but all we can do now is learn to work with it and move forward. I tried to go to college and had to drop out due to an illness. Now that I have two more kids in the mix, I felt like that dream was out of reach for me before.
At this point I have a little hope that it might actually be possible for me to handle it and be successful, and that is something I have wanted so badly. It can also be really hard to explain to my friends and other people just how much of an effect ADD has on my ability to focus, sometimes even with medication.
It can be frustratingly futile to feel powerless against your own brain! However, there are upsides to ADD! Like another user mentioned, it makes me feel energized and excited and curious about life and learning new and different things. And I think it makes life more exciting!
You start off with watching tv then LP) the chore that needs to be done. You head for the supplies to clean a stain, then wonder if this is the right or best way to do it. You sit at the computer to look it up, while asking the person if they have any ideas.
They offer you 3 ideas which you promptly forget. Your get a message on your phone and go to check it and see the article you were reading earlier and continue to read. Then you open 3 new tabs with 3 corresponding articles that you will want to read later, and click on a 4th link to read now.
Something happens on the tv and as you glance over, the stain catches your eye, and just before you get up you remember your research. You do a search on your phone on the current tab, forgetting all about your article.
The video you find would be better on a bigger screen so you cast it to the tv by muscle memory, disconnect, apologize for interrupting the other person watching the tv, grab your tablet to use instead. Nearly lost my job. Went through about 4 different Rxs with a variety of dosages before I found what worked for me.
My analogy is bees in a hive. There are thousands of them doing their jobs. Running around trying to touch on each little piece with nothing getting done. I do not like that I tap my toes or shake my leg or fiddle with my facial hair or the hair on my neck almost all of the time.
I drink entire pots of coffee, in fact, I cannot go to sleep at night unless I drink some caffiene. An energy drink, pot of coffee and giant 64 oz cola or something or I will be up all night.
I remember back in undergrad I took Adderall unprescibed and in about 45 minutes how long it took me to walk to school everything would start to slow down. At least I thought it did. But for an analogy for the way I feel most of the time, especially without copious amounts of caffeine, I would describe it something LP) a luge.
The LP) goes straight down at a 70 deg pitch, at night with lights. You are supposed to determine how many blue ones are along the way on an infinite track. That experience can be addictive for many people. They want that high, hyper, super invincible feeling, so they begin chasing it. These drugs act on your dopamine levels which are transmitters from one cell to another. ADHD brains have a higher concentration of dopamine transporters that despite the name block the transmission. So for someone like us, it just helps bridge the gap between cells and we feel normal.
For me adhd is like a theory in the video game series Halo where the ai think themselves to death. Its like I have a thousands differemt thoughts that fly by while one stay prevalent in the background and they all just compete for my attention slowing everything down untill I go inzane like an ai burning its hardware out.
Luckily though I have a very supportive family and friends who help me out. Archived from the original on February 14, Underground also points to the sociological function of the music, framing it as one type of music that in order to have meaning and continuity is kept away, to large degree, from mainstream society, mass media, and those empowered to enforce prevalent moral and aesthetic codes and values.
I was on a mission because most people hated house music and it was all rare groove and hip hop I'd play Strings of Life at the Mud Club and clear the floor. Three weeks later you could see pockets of people come onto the floor, dancing to it and going crazy — and this was without ecstasy — Mark Moore commenting on the initially slow response to House music in Although it can now be heard in Detroit's leading clubs, the local area has shown a marked reluctance to get behind the music.
Ironically, the only Detroit club which really championed the sound was a peripatetic party night called Visage, which unromantically shared its name with one of Britain's oldest new romantic groups. Retrieved August 13, Profile Records, Inc. Detroit's "techno" World Music Productions. Archived from the original on June 23, Retrieved June 17, The Village Voice.
It's not hard to hype something up. When the first techno records came in, the early ModelReese, and Derrick May material, I wanted to follow up the Detroit connection. I took a flyer and called up Transmat; I got Derrick May and we started to release his records in England. Derrick came over with a bag of tapes, some of which didn't have any name: tracks which are now classics, like 'Sinister' and 'Strings of Life.
We got backing from Virgin Records and flew to Detroit. We met Derrick, Kevin, and Juan and went out to dinner, trying to think of a name. At the time, everything was house, house house.
They had it in their heads without articulating it; it was already part of their language. Fantazia Rave Archive. Retrieved October 1, Once Rushton and Atkins set techno apart with the Techno!
And as the s came to a close, the difference between techno and house music became increasingly pronounced, with techno's instrumentation growing more and more adventurous. Faze Magazin. Retrieved The show is called "Tanzhouse" hosted by a young Fred Kogel. Eds rev. Reinbek: Rowohlt Taschenbuch Verlag. Moby's track "Go! Presenting themselves as a sort of techno Public EnemyUnderground Resistance were dedicated to 'fighting the power' not just through rhetoric but through fostering their own autonomy.
The Wire Retrieved December 2, New York Times. This led to the inclusion of a distinctive saxophone solo. That track was happening everywhere. The production was released as a white label in May and later issued on the mini-album Quadrastate at the end of July that year, just as the second Summer of Love was flowering.
Massey remembers taking the white label to Mike Pickering, Graeme Park, and Jon Da Silva, and notes that it rose through the ranks to become the last tune of the night. Graham Massey has discussed the use of unusual meters in State's music commenting online on June 18,that: I always thought Cobra Bora could have stood a chance. Archived from the original on July 5, Retrieved July 21, Jeff Mills and Mike Banks had visions of Jazz music and musicians operating on the same "man machine" doctrine dropped on them from Kraftwerk.
Retrieved from Techno. While on the one hand it does seem the most convenient catch-all phrase, under any sort of scrutiny it begins to implode.
In its original —93 sense it was largely coterminous with the more explicitly elitist 'intelligent techno', a term used to establish distance from and imply distaste for, all other more dancefloor-oriented types of techno, ignoring the fact that many of its practitioners such as Richard James Aphex Twin were as adept at brutal dancefloor tracks as what its detractors present as self-indulgent ambient 'noodling'".
The traveling lifestyle began in the early seventies, as convoys of hippies spent the summer wandering from site to site on the free festival circuit.
Gradually, these proto- crusty remnants of the original counterculture built up a neomedieval economy based on crafts, alternative medicine, and entertainment In the mid-eighties, as squatting became a less viable option and the government mounted a clampdown on welfare claimants, many urban crusties tired of the squalor of settled life and took to the roving lifestyle.
Criminal Justice and Public Order Act Her Majesty's Stationery Office. Retrieved January 17, Any form of electronica genealogically related to Techno but departing from it in one way or another. Winter,pp. Music and Technoculture. Wesleyan University Press. So Addictive". Slant Magazine. Archived from the original on January 2, Retrieved December 21, Metro Times. Ford Motors. October 6, Archived from the original on July 11, Retrieved January 10, We know that music is one of the biggest passions for our young car buyers, so it made sense for us to incorporate a unique music element in our campaign.
August 11, Lunar Magazine. Chicago Flame. Archived from the original on July 8, July 2, Retrieved November 22, — via Wikipedia. Retrieved November 22, — via www. Metro Times Detroit. GPI Publications. Retrieved June 4, Retrieved October 3, February 21, Archived from the original on August 13, Extensive collection of review excerpts hosted on the Raymond Scott website. BBC News. Backbeat Books, London: Routledge: 67— Archived from the original on May 1, Retrieved January 14, London: Verso.
Loss of safety? Lifestyles between multi-optionality and scarcity in German. Pitchfork Media. Electronic Beats. Retrieved 31 August Retrieved 23 April The New York Times.
Retrieved 28 February Its copyright date isbut it was first published July Electronica and electronic -based music styles. Authority control. Integrated Authority File Germany. France data United States. Namespaces Article Talk. Views Read Edit View history. Help Learn to edit Community portal Recent changes Upload file. Download as PDF Printable version. Wikimedia Commons. Alternative dance. Universal Techno documentaryYouTube video. BBC Two.
I love the idea that this word is still so sacred that you can use it like a torpedo: you can hole people below the water line; you can make strong men go pale. It is a word of immense power, to be used sparingly.
Toronto, Canada: Insomniac Press. ISBN Language Most Foul. Online Etymological Dictionary. Retrieved Delaware: Adamant Media Corporation. A Dictionary of Invective. London: Robert Hale Ltd. The Guardian. Retrieved 5 May Retrieved 9 June Nigger is far more taboo than fuck or even cunt. I think if a politician were to be heard off-camera saying fuck, it would be trivial, but if he said nigger, that would be the end of his career.
Social Movements and Culture. Toronto: University of Toronto Press. Archived from the original on Archived from the original on October 1, I believed it should be an ordinary, everyday word I refuse to think of my sex as simply a receptacle for a weapon. In the twentieth century, its strength didn't diminish. Inat a test [cricket] match in Pakistan, the umpire Shakoor Rana accused English captain Mike Gatting of unfair play. When Gatting denied it, Rana called him 'a fucking cheating cunt'. The fracas caused uproar.
Yet only one newspaper, The Independentdared print the expletive-laden exchange in full. Nearly twenty years later, in some quarters, it is used as a term of affection.
Yet for LP) people the C-word is still a very offensive term A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. London: S. Skeptical Humanities. Retrieved 28 February Retrieved 18 December Strain Theory - The New Lines - All That We See And Seem (Vinyl Retrieved 30 December Oxford English Dictionary Online ed. Oxford University Press. Subscription or participating institution membership required. Norton Anthology of English Literature. Seventh Edition.
New York: W. Twelfth night, or, What you will: texts and contexts. Palgrave Macmillan. Ogden, James; Stern, Tiffany eds. The Country Wife 2nd, annotated ed. Life Cycles in England, — Cradle to Grave. Retrieved 6 March Filthy English : the how, why, when, and what of everyday swearing.
London: Portobello Books. Retrieved 23 February The Macmillan Dictionary of American Slang. An example of usage given by the dictionary is Maling, Arthur Lucky Devil. And this one is from Max. The cunt. S2CID The Macmillan Dictionary of Slang 3rd ed.
The Oxford Dictionary of Modern Slang. Dictionary of Contemporary Slang 3rd ed. Bloomsbury Publishing. Sharpe Incorporated. Random House is more gender-specific: 'a despicable, contemptible or foolish man'. Random House. The original quotation is from Crowley, Mart The Boys LP) the Band.
Green's Dictionary of Slang. Retrieved 30 October
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